Onyx Storm (Chapter 21 to Chapter 28)

STATS

Title: Onyx Storm

Series: The Empyrean (Book 3)

Author(s): Rebecca Yarros

Genre: Fantasy (Epic)

First Printing: January 2025

Publisher: Red Tower Books

Rating: 1.5 / 10

SPOILER WARNING

Heavy spoilers will be provided for the entirety of The Empyrean up through the end of the content covered in this part. Mild spoilers for elements later in Onyx Storm may be provided, but I will keep the first paragraph of each section as spoiler-free as possible. Heavy spoilers from later in Onyx Storm will be confined to clearly labelled sections.

STORY

Violet and her squad fly to Cordyn so that they can layover at Teclis’s palace before flying to Deverelli. Xaden goads Halden into spelling out that Xaden is not present as a professor, thereby allowing Xaden to pull a, “Gotcha!” and have Violet sleep in the same room. Later, the squad flies to Deverelli. As soon as they fly over the ocean, their connection to magic is severed, yet Violet can somehow maintain her telepathic link to both Tairn and Andarna.

While Halden negotiates with the King of Deverelli for information on the rainbow dragons and permission to such Deverelli as a base for their search, the squad travels to the bookshop that Asher’s note told Violet to visit. They are assaulted by some people inside the shop. The shop’s owner, Narelle, then reveals herself and says that she has been holding onto some books for Violet at Asher’s request. She hands over these books after providing only a token effort to verify Violet’s identity.

Chapter 25 is a sex scene. After Xaden and Violet have sex, the rest of the squad warns them that Halden has been taken prisoner. Xaden has to rescue him, since Xaden is the only other aristocrat on the team.

Chapters 26 through 27 are a prolonged power fantasy moment. Violet and Xaden storm the King of Deverelli’s palace and fight some guards and the king’s pet panthers. Xaden drains magic from Violet’s conduit so that he can use his shadow Signet to slaughter a wave of guards. Violet then takes over negotiations, forcing the King to comply on the threat of having Andarna murder one of his panthers.

Violet and the squad return to Basgiath and just … go back to class. During a Signet Sparring session, Violet realizes that flying back to make reports to the Senarium between every island will take too much time. A big deal is made about her deciding to not report back, with Yarros lying to the audience that this will have consequences for her. The scene ends with a cadet turning into / being revealed as a venin before being killed on the spot.

PLOT

Romance Subplot

The spotlight is still a long ways off, but there are some odds and ends to cover here.

“Outsmarting” Halden

Yarros makes a big deal out of Xaden goading Halden into saying he’s not present as a professor so that Violet can sleep on the same room at him.

This is dumb from both a narrative perspective and a common-sense one.

Narratively, if it is this easy to bypass the Codex rule about student-teacher relationships, why was this ever an obstacle in the first place? Why could Xaden not argue that his role as Duke supercedes his role as a professor any time outside of the school day (or even any time he is not in the classroom)? He only teaches the one class, and it’s not like it has any papers to grade or other after-hours responsibilties.

In terms of common sense … this is not how restrictions on student-teacher relationships work. It doesn't matter if you are on school property or not. Boundaries exist for a reason, and if they are enforced, they will always be enforced. Every year, my company issues multiple reminders to the teachers to avoid any and all interaction with students on social media or gaming servers, because even if those things happen off school property and outside classroom hours, we are still teachers and they are still our students. The dynamic doesn’t magically vanish because of weekends or summer vacation.

Put another way: imagine if a high school teacher started dating (and having sex with) his 18-year-old student during the summer before her senior year. Does this really seem like something that would be allowed? If, by some miracle, he wasn’t fired the instant it was revealed, does it seem plausible that they’d be permitted to resume this sexual relationship over the Christmas holiday?

A Moment of Tenderness

At the end of Chapter 22, as everyone is mentally adjusting to being without magic, we get a quiet scene between Violet and Xaden that actually feels like there is a loving, emotional bond between them, rather than purely a sexual one. Xaden is enjoying the lack of temptation to use his venin powers. Violet is happy for him and shares in that moment with him.

Why don’t we get more of this?

I’m going to be coming back to this scene when we do the Romance spotlight in Chapters 48 and 49. For now, I’ll just say that the inclusion of this scene frustrates me precisely because it’s the best the Romance subplot has given us in this entire book. This is supposed to be a couple in a committed relationship. Why, then, does Yarros focus almost exclusively on the sexual tension?

Back to Business

After the tender moment, the Romance once more exclusively focusses on sex. The very next scene is Violet swooning and “melting” over how attractive she finds the relaxed Xaden, with an explicit mention of the fact it has been six weeks since they last had sex.

The Sex Scene

Xaden doesn’t need to worry about draining Violet when there is no magic, so they have sex.

Nothing more for me to say about this until we reach the Romance spotlight.

Moving a Bit Fast

While breaching the King of Deverelli’s palace, Xaden declares Violet to be his consort as a means to get around the protocols that prevent non-aristrocrars from getting an audience with the king. This makes sense as a ruse. Xaden even assures Violet that she shouldn’t take it that seriously.

Then he decides that she should take it seriously.

“I don’t need the protection and privileges—” I shake my head as we pass another row of palms.

“Ouch.” He lifts his hand to his chest. “Never thought you’d reject me.”

I roll my eyes. “It is not the time for this.” Jokes have to wait.

“When would be?” The next look he gives me is a hundred percent serious.

My feet nearly stumble along with my heartbeat. Just the idea of really having forever with him makes my chest ache with a longing that doesn’t belong on a possible battlefield. “When we’re not risking death—”

“We’re always risking death.” He strokes his thumb over mine.

“True,” I admit as we walk onto a flagstone floor, entering the palace’s dining hall.

These two first “got together” … what, eight months ago?

• Xaden submitted to Violet’s demand for a relationship the night before the climax of Fourth Wing.

• Iron Flame covers roughly a six-month period.

• The Prologue of Onyx Storm was a new POV of the last chapter of Iron Flame, and then we got a two-week timeskip to Chapter 1.

• The first sex scene (which was “six weeks” ago at this point) was a few days after that time skip.

For at least half of this eight-month period, these two of have been separated for one reason or another (about three months of which was Violet herself refusing to acknowledge their relationship as a means to force Xaden to submit on the security clearance issue). Outside of sporadic moments of tenderness, we have seen nothing from them but sex.

All this is to say that this is incredibly jarring and rushed. I don’t mean rushed in the sense of a romance moving at an unrealistic pace. This genuinely comes out of nowhere and does not feel at all earned.

This is going to surface again on the third island, too, but at least there, it’s more justified by context. Someone suggests an arranged marriage for Xaden, and he gives them the finger by telling them the only arranged marriage he’ll accept is to Violet. The way Violet reacts to that declaration still makes it feel rushed and unearned, but at least Xaden’s behavior makes sense there. This one just feels like he’s pulling a Ted Mosby.

Broken Priorities

Later in the same scene, when confronting the King of Deverelli, Xaden is directly asked by the King where his political loyalties lie.

“Navarre,” Courtlyn continues, “or Tyrrendor? Lie, and this discussion is over. We’ve fared quite well without the Continent.”

Xaden tilts his head, studying the king. “Violet.”

My heart skips into double time.

“My loyalty is to Violet first above everything, everyone else,” Xaden says. “Then Tyrrendor. Then Navarre in the moments it’s worthy—usually when Violet is in residence.”

It’s a reckless answer given what hangs in the balance, and now is absolutely notthe time, but damn if it doesn’t make me love him even more.

The idea that Violet is Xaden’s priority, to the exclusion of all else, is not new. We actually got something of a variation on this idea in Chapter 2, when Xaden kicked off his Edward Cullen brooding by telling Violet that he would still love her even if he fully embraced his venin nature and annihilated the Continent. What makes this instance different is that, rather than this being something said between the two of them, Xaden is openly declaring it to a foreign dignitary while standing in front of the crown prince of the throne from which he draws his political power. This is an official public statement from the Duke of Tyrrendor, not a private declaration of love from a brooding Shadow Daddy.

Let’s ignore for a moment that this is yet another example of behavior that gets the position of Duke of Tyrrendor ripped away from Xaden. Let’s also ignore the fact that this contradicts the whole farce with the locked research, since if a dragon truly is a rider’s first love, Sgaeyl should be Xaden’s first loyalty (or at the very least be mentioned on this list). We’re going to focus purely on the context in which Xaden is saying this.

If The Empyrean were merely a story of political intrigue, this would indeed be romantic. If this were, say, A Song of Ice and Fire, uttered by a character who had zero connection to or awareness of what was brewing north of the Wall, we would have a character with immense power and influence openly declaring that he would throw all that power away for love. That last paragraph from Violet would he a completely understandable reaction.

There’s just the slight problem that:

1. There is an annihilating wave of energy vampires coming to kill everyone on the Continent.

2. Xaden is not only aware of this threat but has previously used it to justify his many treasonous actions.

3. Violet is so invested in battling this threat that she helped Xaden fight it even when she was rejecting the possiblity of a relationship with him (so we have a practical demonstration that she prioritizes defeating the venin over whatever emotions she may have for Xaden). She also is supposedly a moral paragon whose inherent goodness made it a foregone conclusion that she’d burn down everything she knew to combat the threat.

Because of context, this passage isn’t romantic. It destroys both Xaden’s and Violet’s characters. It undermines the motivations that drove Iron Flame and made the climax of Fourth Wing possible. At least when Violet was taken aback by Xaden’s edginess in Chapter 28 of Iron Flame, it was a token acknowledgment of the moral hypocrisy, even if Yarros refused to actually follow through and condemn Xaden for it. This is just Yarros uprooting foundational motivations in the hopes of making us swoon in the moment.

What Yarros could have done to save this was to tie it into Xaden’s increased possessiveness of Violet throughout this book (something I haven’t been getting into, but it's what made him insecure about Halden in Chapters 17 and 18). She could have had Violet realize that, even without magic, Xaden’s nature as a venin was twisting his priorities. Simply saying that he’s being reckless isn’t enough, especially if Violet is inwardly swooning over it. That just asserts that Violet agrees with what Xaden is saying, only disagreeing with his phrasing. This needs to be acknowledged as a break in character for Xaden and a line Violet is unwilling to cross herself.

A World Without Magic

This is something we need to tackle both here and in Worldbuilding to fully weigh the merits and flaws of what Yarros is doing here.

You may recall from earlier in this review that Yarros did indeed set up that magic is confined to the Continent and that this is part of the reason that dragons (excepting the irids) don't leave the Continent. This is also mentioned by Teclis in the scene before the actual departure. The fact that obstacles pop up as soon as the squad leaves the Continent (in fact, as soon as they fly over the ocean) therefore isn't a development that comes out of nowhere.

There was a massive amount of potential in terms of cutting access to magic … but actually engaging with that potential would impune upon the power fantasy.

Yarros may be willing to say that Violet feels powerless, but she can't follow through with it in the plot. The absence of magic is therefore an obstacle that means nothing to the narrative, no matter how big deal Yarros makes about it in the moment.

• Oh, no! Without magic, the dragons can’t community telepathically! It's okay, though. Violet, Tairn, and Andarna maintain their link, so it's just every other rider (and the fliers) that are penalized. It’s not like anything actually changes for the narrative, since dragons (and gryphons) are not characters, and the only dragon Violet ever interacts with who isn’t Tairn or Andarna is Sgaeyl.

• Oh no! The dragons’ biology is tied into magic! It’s okay. It never actually hinders them.

• Oh, no! Without magic, there are no Signets! It's okay, though. Yarros doesn't put Violet into situations where she needs her Signet (more on that in two weeks), and when Xaden needs his Signet, he uses his venin draining powers and the magic stored in Violet’s lightning focusing device to access his Signet anyway.

• Oh, no! This also affects runes! It's okay, though. Yarros vaguely handwaves that some runes work without explaining the rules of it, meaning she can arbitrarily hand Violet any rune needed to succeed.

One element that I think is important to mark as an improvement is that Yarros once again successfully preserves mystery rather than dismissing it. Violet shares with Mira that she is still linked to Tairn and Andarna, and we get this reaction.

[Mira’s] brow furrows. “Do you think it’s because you’re bonded to two? Or is it Andarna?

I shake my head, my focus straying to Xaden’s back. “I don’t know.”

The self-insert Mary Sue whose conclusions are always right does not jump to any conclusions here. The mystery lingers.

The Book Shop

Action Scene

This fight is a completely weightless and pointless moment intended to make Violet look cool, to give Xaden some edgy quips, and to inject some energy into the meandering events.

It also makes zero sense in hindsight. All the assailants are there to protect Narelle from the riders … despite the fact that they know Narelle is holding onto books for someone from Navarre. They made no effort to verify anyone’s identity before attacking. After all, even if Narelle was told Violet would be a scribe rather than a rider, the Deverelli pride themselves on being educated, so the fact that there is a non-zero chance of Violet being a rider should have occurred to Narelle and been coveyed to these guards.

The Chosen Daughter

Asher left these books hidden with a bookshop owner in another country … specifically for Violet to find.

Why?

I’m willing to buy the idea that Asher would trust Violet specifically, rather than trusting his children in general. As early as Fourth Wing, Yarros established that Violet took after Asher more than his other two children did, and he spent more time with her in her adolescent years than General Sorrengail did. (Brennan was also thought to be dead by the time Asher would have hidden these books.) The idea that Asher would believe Violet would agree with him and side against Navarre in the wider venin conflict makes far more sense than, say, General Sorrengail assuming this.

The problems here are:

1. Why does it need to be Violet specifically, and if it needed to be entrusted to her, why not do so while Asher was still alive? (Yes, I know he died of heart disease, which is very capable of causing a sudden and quick death, but his health was deteriorating from the moment Brennan died. There were a couple of years when he could have brought Violet into the loop.)

2. What did he want her to accomplish with these books?

3. How did he plan for her to seek out the books in the first place?

These books contain nothing except knowledge about the islands. There’s nothing forbidden or secret. It's just raw cultural, geographic, and historical information. Asher could probably have taken these back to Navarre with minimal concern about them being redacted - after all, it’s not like he spells out the historical bits that might get redacted otherwise (and that assumes that the scribes still think that portion of history still needs to be redacted, versus the redaction happening generations ago when Navarre prioritized different things with their censorship). So why not trust this to a scribe he knew? Why not trust a family member who wasn’t in the military? Why not just share all his findings with his teenaged daughter while he was still alive?

In terms of what Asher wanted Violet to accomplish, it's even murkier. The note Violet found in Chapter 18 spoke of a weapon to defeat the venin, but the books don’t point her to the rainbow dragons, and what they do point her towards is … situational, at best. I will explain this more when it becomes relevant to the plot.

The last issue is the question of how Violet (and only Violet) was supposed to learn about and seek out these books. Asher sealed the note and his research inside a locked journal, then hid the journal. Yes, Violet knew where the hiding place was, but she needed a motivation to go and retrieve the research. The riddle lock adds another point of failure - after all, if we’re really supposed to think that Asher wouldn’t give the riddle lock the obvious answer, then Violet should have failed to open the lock, because the answer that’s current in the book was the obvious answer that literally anyone could have figured out. All of this had to happen after Violet was aware of the venin, so that’s a third failure point.

Ultimately, the only reason Violet came looking for the research because she assumed it was relevant to the rainbow dragons, and it’s not clear if Asher even knew Andarna existed, let alone if she’d hatched before he died. What, then, was Asher’s initial plan to trigger this quest chain?

I feel like Yarros is laying it on thick trying to make Violet seem special and important here, and instead, it just comes across as clunky and forced. At least when Asher left a letter inside the spine of the folklore book, that made sense. He was just trying to warn Violet that venin were real in a manner that wouldn't immediately raise red flags if someone else found the letter, and telling her to take a closer look at the folklore would accomplish that. As for hiding it inside the book, it was an old book. He could reasonsbly have guessed that it would fall apart in a few years and expose the letter to Violet. This instance is far more complex in every aspect, and it just makes the whole exercise feel needlessly convoluted.

What makes this even more convoluted and strange is an exchange at the end of the scene. When Mira expresses frustration that Asher left the books for Violet specifically, rather than both of them, Narelle responds with:

Narelle simply smiles and crosses her ankles in front of her. “And that right there is why he didn’t leave them for you, dear. We all have a part to play in what’s coming for us; this one is simply hers. While he was busy raising Violet for this particular mission, your mother was raising you. I wonder what legacy you’ve inherited.”

What’s this nonsense about parts to play? As we’ll cover in Worldbuilding, Narelle doesn’t believe in fate. Is she implying that Asher was this chessmaster who engineered a grand stratagem to save the world from the venin? That doesn’t really work when his plan has only gotten this far through blind luck regarding variables he couldn’t have accounted for. Maybe someone like Melgren, with a Signet that reads the future and grants him limited omniscience about present events, could pull it off, but Asher was not a rider (or a venin, as far as Yarros as established) and thus does not have a Signet

Password Recovery Questions

Yarros has Narelle set a final challenge before handing over the books to Violet.

“The books are only for you,” Narelle confirms, and Leona perches on the arm of her mother’s chair. “I have three simple questions, and if you’re capable of answering them, the books are yours.”

What follows is a master class in the worst case scenario of an author trying to write a character smarter than herself. Yarros can’t even conceive of a functional test of Violet’s “rationality” and “intelligence”. She just drops the bar so low that not even James Cameron can dive below it.

• Question 1:

“He left a manuscript for you. What is the title?”

Even if we assume that Asher didn’t tell Narelle that he’d hide the clue to point Violet to her inside the manuscript (i.e. that Violet could not be here unless she had seen the manuscript), it should be reasonable to assume that Violet read it and is now following up on it. In fact, if this isn’t Violet, then there’s no reason for her to be here unless she read the manuscript and is trying to retrace Asher's steps. This is the equivalent to asking someone to confirm she is a general by asking her to state her military rank. It’s a basic fact that literally anyone attempting to imitate Violet would know.

• Question 2:

“In chapter fourteen, your father alludes to the Krovlan uprising falling apart because of Deverelli but does not go into specifics. Any”—her gaze skims over my black uniform—“scribe worth her wisdom wouldn’t have been satisfied with his speculation. So tell me, what’s your hypothesis?”

The test of whether this is Violet is whether she read the manuscript. Again, if this isn't Violet, she would have no reason to be here unless she read the manuscript, and thus she would have enough information to improvise an answer. However, even if it is Violet, she could come to a different conclusion than Narelle intended. This isn’t just a terrible security question - it’s another unnecessary failure point.

• Question 3:

“What made you leave the prince?” She tilts her head to the side, and her eyes light up like we’ve gathered for tea and gossip.

“I’m sorry?” I lean forward, like it’s at all possible I could have misheard her.

“The prince?” She clasps her hands together. “Your father knew it wouldn’t last, but I’d like to know the final straw.”

…

“I…” The weight of every stare in the room flushes my skin so hot, I feel on the edgeof burnout without even a hint of magic. “I left him because I found him in a delicate situation with one of his professors.”

…

“So you left him in a jealous rage even with the crown of Navarre in your hands?” Narelle prods. “Did he come begging your forgiveness? Did you take him back?”

I can definitely see why she owns a bookstore, and which genre might just be her favorite. “I’ve never sought a crown, and besides, it’s not in Halden’s nature to beg forgiveness of anyone. I closed the door and didn’t bother speaking to him until a few weeks ago. He didn’t love me, not in the way I deserve to be loved, and no amount of power is worth staying with someone who doesn’t love you.”

“You know your value,” Narelle says softly with a nod. “Your father would be proud. Get her the books.”

I’m sorry, what? Are we really supposed to believe that Violet is special because she wouldn’t continue a relationship with a man who cheated on her? That she’s the only one who would choose an emotionally fulfilling relationship over political power? That this was such a remarkable trait that Asher told Narelle that she’d know Violet by it?

This was the bit that led me to conclude that Yarros was setting the bar absurdly low due to an inability to even conceive an actual challenge. This is more validation power fantasy, only this time it’s over something so basic that most of humanity would also clear that bar. Either Yarros is trying to win the audience over by validating common sense, or else she has a very low opinion of any woman who isn’t herself.

Plus, again: literally any person with knowledge of Halden could lie convincingly about the breakup, and it’s common knowledge to feign a disinterest in power in this situation.

Doubling Down

We leave the bookstore ten minutes later with six tomes written by my father. And every single one of them is passcode-locked.

No worries! All these passcodes will undoubtedly be something any idiot in this world could solve. Even if Violet can’t figure it out, magic doesn't work here, so she can dismantle the lock without worrying about the anti-tampering rune.

Those are the rules Yarros has established, so I have no idea why she expects this to invoke any tension.

(Violet and Dain apparently solve all these passcodes in two nights with zero mistakes. We are not shown this, merely told after the fact. I guess Yarros couldn’t actually think of any more passcodes.)

Power Fantasy

The entire sequence of Chapter 26 and 27 is an utter farce.

Yarros goes out of her way to establish that Halden destroyed the negotiations just so her self-insert Mary Sue and the Bad Boy Love Interest could swoop in and save the day. The fight scene is incoherent noise. Violet’s diplomacy is the same nonsense as her speech in Chapter 6, amounting to nothing more than pointing a gun at an incapacitated pet and dictating terms.

The sword that Xaden got back as part of the Second Aretia Accord makes an appearance here. Apparently, he knew the negotiations would fall apart and brought it along to trade to the King of Deverelli as a peace offering. This is treated as a big deal, but this sword didn’t even exist until Onyx Storm and has been irrelevant since its introduction. There’s no emotional weight to this.

The one aspect of this sequence that works is Xaden unlocking the ability to drain magic outside of the Continent. This comes out of nowhere, but in this case, I think that’s okay. It’s not a twist that pays anything off. If anything, it’s treated as a sign of his continued deterioration. The fact that this happens during a fight scene also is consistent with past manifestations of magic in times if stress. If Yarros had written this into a scene with narrative relevance and with genuine stakes and tension, it would have been a solid moment. As it is, this is a tiny bright spot in the midst of a titanic waste of the audience’s time.

The Power of God and Anime

Violet claiming to speak for the Empyrean in Chapter 20 was ridiculous on its own, but then Yarros doubles down on it in Chapter 28. When Violet is struggling to plan the route for the next islands visited, grappling with the issue of not reporting back to the Senarium each time (instead of, say, just planning to bring along riders who can function as messengers), we get this from Andarna.

“The Empyrean will side with whatever choice you make,” Andarna promises, but Tairn is quiet, no doubt occupied with finally being able totalk with Sgaeyl after their period of forced silence.

We now have confirmation, via a dragon, that Violet was not screeching incoherently when she claimed to have the Empyrean’s backing.

When did this happen? How did this happen? This is a massive reversal in the stakes of the story. If this is true, the rider leadership and the Senarium should absolutely be at Violet’s mercy. Just to name two basic examples of how this book should be different if this is indeed true:

1. Why can’t the Empyrean tell the rider leadership, “Lol, no, we don’t have time to waste on reports to the Senarium between every island”?

2. Why can’t Violet and everyone she chooses to support her cut classes to focus on research that will save Navarre, including the dragons’ hatching grounds, from annihilation?

The Venin Plot Hole

I’ve ripped into the reveal of both Jack being a venin and how easily Xaden turned for the devastating consequences on the worldbuilding.

I really shouldn’t be surprised at this point that Yarros would turn around and call attention to the plot hole.

Someone shouts on the mat, and both our heads jerk in that direction.

Kagiso shoots another blast of fire, sending a shrieking second-year scrambling backward, but Carr doesn’t intervene as the flames creep closer and closer to the terrified brunette.

“Help her,” I whisper.

“I’ve been ordered to stand down.” Bodhi tenses as her screams intensify and she drops to her hands and knees.

The next blast of flames comes within inches of her.

“Wield!” Carr shouts. “Defend yourself!”

The second-year out of Claw Section splays her hand wide on the mat and screams. Color drains in a circle around her hand, leaving the mat gray.

Oh shit. My stomach clenches and I stare, stunned.

She’s turning right in front of us. Or has she been one of them all along? Xaden would have sensed her, right? He was just here. Or would she have sensed him? I palm my dagger.

Not only do we have yet another venin rider, not only does Yarros acknowledge both the possibility that this cadet infiltrated Basgiath as a venin and the possibility that any random cadet might turn on the spot, but we also get a practical demonstration of how the stresses of rider training would incentivize cadets to grasp for venin power and immortality. This place should be bursting at the gills with venin riders.

CHARACTER

Violet

Priorities

The tender scene between Violet and Xaden at the end of Chapter 22 concludes with this.

“There’s no magic here.” He tugs me against him. “No power. No lure. No taunting reminder that I can save everything if I just reach for it and take what’s offered. It’s only … peace.”

For the first time since fetching the luminary, I seriously debate Tecarus’s offer.

This is a nice moment that shows Violet’s investment in helping Xaden. It’s not properly supported by the rest of the text (more on that when we do the Romance spotlight down the line), but it’s a fine start.

“Beautiful”, “Destigmatizing”

At the end of the fight in Chapter 27, Andarna drops in and seizes one of the King of Deverelli’s pet panthers in her jaws. At this point, the animal is helpless.

Violet uses the threat of Andarna killing this beloved pet to force the King to negotiate.

I look over my shoulder, and a slow, proud smile spreads across my face. Andarna stands with her front claws atop the bodies of the guards, her wings tucked in tight, her black tail flicking back and forth as she holds Shira delicately between her front four teeth, the snarling cat’s claws safely tucked outside so she can’t cause any damage. Andarna even has her lips puckered so the little cat doesn’t get drenched in dragon saliva. How thoughtful.

“Shira…” Courtlyn cries.

“You see, that’s my little one.” I pivot toward Courtlyn with a grin, wrinkling my nose. “Raised her from a juvenile—well, Tairn and Sgaeyl have, really, but you get the point. Now, Andarna doesn’t eat our allies—it’s a whole thing her elders are trying to teach her—but you know how adolescents are. Never really know if they feel like listening on any given day.” I shrug. “So we can negotiate, and I will give you the rarest treasure foundany where on this world and Shira will walk away in need of a good bath, or I can call Tairn and Sgaeyl in here, and they can all have little panther snacks before we fly back to the Continent. Your choice. But either way, you should know that dragons outlive their riders, so had you succeeded in killing us, all you would have done was really piss them off before they scorched everything in their paths and flew back to tell the rest of the Empyrean what you’d done. I’m willing to let the Duke of Tyrrendor depart in good faith that you won’t try to attack us again if you’re ready to begin.”

Courtlyn’s face falls, and for the first time since we walked in, he actually looks his age as he glances at Xaden. “Agreed.”

To be absolutely clear: the panther is not a threat at this point. For that matter, the King of Deverelli and his guards are not threats at this point. Between Xaden demonstrating his Signet and the arrival of the dragons, the King and his people are both outmatched and scared utterly shitless. Violet could have delivered her warning about the wrath of the dragons and got the same results without threatening the panther’s life. If Andarna let the panther go, it would most likely flee, as animals have better preservation instincts than humans do. Threatening the life of this beloved pet therefore did nothing to either protect Violet, Xaden, and Halden or to prevent the deaths of more of the King’s guards.

The only reason Violet does this is as a display of power. She threatens to gruesomely kill a man’s cat because it let her break him. She leverages this past the cliffhanger ending of the chapter, with the panther still being in Andarna’s mouth when the scene ends. Andarna even jokes about drooling on the panther, as if we are supposed to laugh at the funny moment and ignore the psychological horror of what’s being done here.

This is animal cruelty, pure and simple. Yes, Yarros notified us of it in the trigger warning, but that’s a patch for the audience experience, not for the narrative. Violet is not condemned for it. By the rules (and public statements) Yarros has made, that makes this a “destigmatizing” portrayal of a woman asserting what she “deserves.” It falls into the same category of celebrated behavior as the pornography.

Oh, and this isn’t even the worst thing Violet does in this book as a needless flex of power over others. Just wait until we get to the third island (just four weeks from now). She’s going to pull this same stunt again, only premeditated, unprovoked, and replacing the animal with two preadolescent children.

Xaden

Likewise, the tender moment of Xaden processing the sensation of being freed from the venin temptation is a good moment. The change in his attitude does far more to convey the strain he’s been under than any moment of angst ever has.

Then things get weird.

Throughout the first part of Chapter 23, Xaden is a completely new man, relaxed and full of good humor, even casually chatting with Dain about Dain and Violet’s childhood together. It’s to the point that the rest of the squad are unnerved by his complete change in mood. Even Violet finds herself pondering whether this is the Xaden she might have met if his father had never rebelled against Navarre.

To an extent, I can under Xaden’s demeanor rubber-banding due to his stress being relieved. What we get is simply ridiculous. The removal of temptation is the only change in Xaden’s situation. He still has the burdens of leadership and of fighting off an existential threat, and his father is still dead. By all means, he should be mellow as he initially adjusts, but this complete reversal of his character (and, perhaps more importantly, Violet’s reaction to that reversal) is just jarring.

Dain

While Dain is demonized or punched down in various forms throughout this book, the same scene where Xaden’s character completely reverses also sees Dain being treated like any other accessory. It’s actually more jarring than the way Xaden is handled. There’s been no moment to establish that Dain is no longer the guy we’re supposed to hate, nor has his contribution with stealing the research being given more than passing acknowledgement. Why, then, is everyone treating him like he’s always been an accepted part of the group?

Mira

Skyrim Follower

In previous scenes (and a couple in these chapters that I won’t bother covering), Mira has been unnecessarily hostile. I’ve covered her spite and her kneeing a flier in the groin, but I neglected to mention how she was ready to draw her sword during the meeting in Chapter 20 if Violet’s demands were denied.

This passage from Chapter 21, though, as the group arrives in Cordyn (a place where they expect to be welcomed as guests), is so ridiculous that it just made me laugh.

“How are you feeling?” I ask once I reach Xaden, noting that Mira is already halfway up the steps of the arena, blade drawn.

Is Mira a follower NPC in Skyrim? Does she also ask Brennan if he’s a priest whenever he uses his mending Signet? (Actually, that last was an unfair jab at Lydia of Whiterun. At least there’s an actual threat present when she draws her sword and ruins your stealthy approach.)

Lampshading is not Correcting

Upon the squad entering the bookstore, we get:

Dain moves to the edge of the counter, earning the shopkeeper’s attention and placing himself between Mira and the customers, while Mira backs herself to the far edge of the seating group, setting a perimeter.

In a bookstore.

I manage to keep from rolling my eyes.

None of Mira’s other aggression has been criticized thus far. Even her kneeing a flier in the groin was played for shock and humor rather than condemned. What’s more, this caution actually makes sense. The squad was recognized as dragon riders and heckled multiple times on the way to the store, and they are already getting looks from the men in the store (who will be part of the group that attacks them). For Yarros to choose this moment to have Violet criticize this moment is her looking directly at the audience and saying, “Yes, I know Mira’s behavior in this book is ridiculous. No, I won’t do revisions. Please clap.”

King of Deverelli

This guy has a name, but he has no character. He's just a snarling dog for Violet to put in his place.

Halden

The way Halden is characterized in these chapters (stupid, weak-willed, incompetent, dishonest, and double-dealing) and the abuse heaped upon him (including him getting casually stabbed through the hand for speaking out of turn) are not demonization … unless one considers context.

You see, Yarros goes out of her way to make the collapse of negotiations his fault. She introduces a convoluted dynamic involving the King of Deverelli being offended by a gift of a dagger claimed from Tyrrendor after the rebellion, which is used to justify stabbing Halden. At the same time, however, she makes Halden guilty of stealing “six” relics from the King of Deverelli … relics extorted from Navarre in a time of desperation in exchange for unspecified services.

“You took advantage of our desperation,” Halden accuses. “Accepted priceless magical artifacts under unfair terms …”

These relics belong to Deverelli just as much as the dagger belongs to Halden. It is a contradictory to claim that the King is in the right to hold onto Navarrian relics but not that Halden is in the wrong to hold onto a relic of Tyrrendor. In fact, this contradiction makes Halden into the good guy here. He chose to recover the relics discretely rather than punishing the King with violence. Had he gotten away with the theft, any injustice (again, as defined by this same narrative) would have been righted while the negotiations executed without a hitch. If Violet had been the one to try stealing these relics, it would have been seen as an unambiguously justified act.

We aren’t meant to judge Halden by the same criteria as Violet, through. The objective is to heap all the blame on him so Violet and Xaden can save the day.

Halden has fucked us over. The sour taste of betrayal fills my mouth, but a bitter flood of metallic anger carries it away with the next heartbeat.

Aaric

Remember how I said previously that Aaric’s refusal to reveal himself made him responsible for any mistakes Halden made in his place? He knew what type of man Halden is. He chose to create a scenario where Halden was the only person who could open these negotiations.

The collapse of these negotiations, along with any physical harm or death resulting from it (including the decapitation of Halden’s bodyguard and all the guards Xaden killed), are on Aaric’s hands … all because he valued spiting his family over the fate of the Continent.

Yet Yarros tries to absolve him of all responsibility.

“Halden was Halden,” I tell Aaric, lowering my voice. “He did Halden things and caused Halden-style ramifications, none of which are your fault.”

This is meant to result in a payoff shortly, with Aaric revealing himself, telling Halden off, and taking Halden's place, but … no. This is too little, too late. People died because of Aaric’s spite. The mere fact that Violet can use Halden’s name as an adjective here confirms that Aaric knows what she’s getting at. This is absolutely his fault.

WORLDBUILDING

Telepathic Bonds

Up until this point, across two and a third books, telepathic communication has been reliable. So long as a connection could be made, the message will always go to its intended recipient.

Then, in Chapter 21 of Onyx Storm, Yarros decides that it is possible to mix up the “pathways”.

I could just about cry as I realize we’re right in front of the room Mira and I occupied during our last visit, and I spot the set of doors beyond that I know are Xaden’s.

How am I going to make it to the top floor? “Will you still keep me if I have to crawl up the stairs?” I ask Tairn.

“You’re not crawling,” Xaden answers.

Wrong pathway. Gods, I really am in trouble.

Why does Yarros do this? It’s not like it’s funny. It doesn’t tell us anything new about how tired Violet is in the moment. It doesn’t pay off later. Telepathic communication just works differently now so that she can include this baffling moment.

A World Without Magic

I wanted to say this this works from a worldbuilding perspective despite not being handled well narratively, but in all honesty, there’s only one aspect here that works.

Special Snowflake Dragon (Heavy Spoilers)

The fact that Violet can maintain a telepathic link with Tairn and Andarna, despite all the other dragons being severed from their riders and each other, is clearly done so that Yarros doesn’t need to follow through on the consequences of her own worldbuilding, but it does at least make sense once we get deeper into the book.

Recall this interaction between Mira and Violet about Violet still being in contact with her dragons.

[Mira’s] brow furrows. “Do you think it’s because you’re bonded to two? Or is it Andarna?

I shake my head, my focus straying to Xaden’s back. “I don’t know.”

Chapter 41 will answer this question: yes, Andarna is absolutely the reason. Rainbow dragons possess (or, perhaps, retain - more on that when we actually get to Chapter 41) the ability to link any human into the dragons’ telepathic communications, allowing humans to easily converse with whole groups of dragons simultaneously. It’s also implied (albeit vaguely) that rainbow dragons may have access to magic even beyond the Continent. The fact that Andarna is able to sustain the existing bond between her, Violet, and Tairn therefore makes sense as an instinctive or passive expression of these abilities.

Is there really no magic?

Before the flight from Cordyn to Deverelli, Teclis offers up this rather strange line.

“Excellent.” Tecarus nods. “A word to the wise…” He glances between us. “I may collect rarities, but King Courtlyn absconds with them. Do not wander off from each other, do not advertise what a rare jewel you are, and at all costs—do not make a deal youcannot keep.”

How is Violet a rare jewel?

Teclis is presumedly talking about her Signet, since that is what interested him about her back in Iron Flame. However, if there is no magic beyond the Continent, then Violet’s Signet is worthless. How would she be a rare jewel? Also, regardless of this point, wouldn't ALL riders be rare jewels, since all of them can use magic (when it is available) while the locals of Deverelli can't?

Then there is the issue of runes. Apparently, select runes work beyond the Continent. With how runes have been established to work, either all of them should work or none of them should work:

• Runes are magic power woven into a shape to generate an effect. The shape determines what the rune does, but the power behind it is dictated by the source. If, for example, a rider makes two different runes, then they may do different things, but the power they contain will be identical. Furthermore, Chapter 45 of Iron Flame established that the power for runes is stored inside them. All this is the say that, since power stored in alloy persists beyond the Continent (after all, if it didn’t, Xaden couldn’t have drained that power), the runes should likewise have power and function normally.

• The runes that animate wyverns are disabled within the sphere of dragon wards, and it’s implied (even more so in this book than the last one) that runes woven by fliers didn’t work within the range of the Basgiath wardstone prior to its mutilation. Furthermore, Violet is going to claim later (based on zero evidence, so of course she’s right) that venin can still drain people on the islands; they just can’t drain from the land. This implies that the lands beyond the Continent aren’t so much devoid of magic as they are subject to an effect that blocks magic. If that’s the case, all runes be disabled here.

Then there’s the way that the Deverelli talk about magic. I’ll dissect their worldview shortly, but the short version is that we are explicitly told that they believe in magic but dismiss the gods in favor of “science”. This implies that magic is a force that can be harnessed and studied without any mysticism to it (especially if, again, some runes work out here). Why, then, don’t we ever see any signs of this supposed scientific take on magic?

Then there are the dragons. We’re reminded, in the very scene where they exit the magic of the Continent, that dragons rely on magic for their biology. Leaving the magic has an immediate, visceral effect and implies their ability to fly is at least somewhat influenced by magic. Chapter 1 also established that magic plays a role in thermal homeostasis. Despite this, we never see the dragons (or the gryphons, for that matter) suffer any ill health effects from prolonged time without magic. This implies that the dragons (and gryphons) must still be drawing magic from somewhere. Why, then, can’t they channel that magic to their riders?

Let's not forget humans. On the third island, Violet will claim that venin can drain humans even beyond the Continent. Context makes it clear that she is referring to humans who aren't from the Continent themselves, so this isn't analogous to the alloy from her conduit retaining magic that was already inside it. She says this without evidence, so we know she is correct (especially since she says it in a moment where we’re meant to see her as one-upping someone in a battle of intellect, rather than lying). However, Yarros will also imply that all the plants on the islands are withered due to a lack of magic. Humans of these islands eat the food that comes from ground without magic, so shouldn’t they also have no magic? If life force is somehow different from magic, and venin merely convert it into magic, what are they draining from the ground, especially since dragons and gryphons also channel from the ground without draining it?

You all know where I’m going with all this: this worldbuilding is nonsensical and contradictory. Yarros once again didn’t think through what she’s establishing. She only cares about doing whatever’s needed for the scene at hand to progress in the way she desires it.

Racial Diversity and Realism

Yarros uses the trip to Deverelli to double down on the nonsensical nature of Navarre’s California diversity.

Actually - not just Navarre’s California diversity. The entire world’s California diversity.

You see, the sun in more intense down south, and Violet is in danger of getting sunburned.

[Mira] unbuttons the pouch and handsme a palm-size slice of what appears to be lilac-colored quartz, tempered with thesame rune that labels the leather. “That one is supposed to shield you from sunlight. Carry it while we’re here for me, would you?” She lifts her brows. “Quietly, of course.”

…

“I’m going to stay out here for a little bit. You go.” [Xaden] turns toward me and cupsthe back of my neck. “You need the rest and definitely need to get out of the sunfor a bit. Your nose is turning pink.”

It’s pretty clear that the reason Yarros included this is because she sunburns easily due to her EDS, so of course her self-insert Mary Sue must as well … but in doing so, she acknowledged that this is indeed a world where the sun interacts with melanin (and other skin pigments). She established skin tone as something that has a biological purpose, thereby establishing that different ethnic groups would develop different skin tones based in part upon the solar radiation they are exposed to in their part of the world.

The realism toggle has been flipped. The ripple effect is spectacularly destructive.

You see, despite the more intense sunlight in these southern latitudes, the people are just as racially diverse as in Navarre. We don’t get a description for what the people of Deverelli overall look like, but Narelle is described as “umber”, a skin tone that is present in Poromiel. Then, in Chapter 30, we’re going to go to the island of Unnbriel, and Yarros expects us to believe that these two people originated from the same place.

The middle-aged man with graying hair and rich brown skin on the left boasts the same uniform as the silver-dressed guards, and the older, light-skinned woman at his side wears not only the long pale blue robes of the temple attendants but a sword sheathed at her hip.

This is absurd. Racial diversity this intense demands explanation. Yes, the fact the United States has this racial diversity confirms that it is possible, but as mentioned in previous reviews, the United States has a backstory that explains this. It’s is not the default for our entire planet; there is no reason to believe it would be for another world. At least when D&D pulls this sort of thing, it can be rationalized to some degree by magic. When you live in a world where human bloodlines can spawn tieflings, aasimar, genasi, and other plane-touched beings, a riot of skin tones in small potatoes. In this setting, not only is magic not established as something that can do this, but we are getting this diversity in a place where magic can't work as an explanation.

Even ignoring the realism issue, we come into an issue of identity. Specifically, the issue is with identity of place. Something Random Film Talk covered in his review of The Rings of Power is that the universal racial diversity of that show makes every place feel the same. Giving different groups within the setting their own clearly defined racial identity helps to make groups visually unique and to subtly hint to the audience where everyone is from. Yarros has no problem using race to distinguish between characters; would it have been so hard for her to scale this up to whole regions, so that the race of the characters could tell us something about them rather than being a cosmetic touch?

To bring this back to the detail that kicked off this part of the analysis: the racial diversity of Navarre is annoyingly artificial on its own, but this is even worse. Establishing that the sun can burn someone like Violet establishes a factor that should make it unlikely that the natives of this region would be pale. If Yarros hadn’t established that sunburn was a factor, I would still criticize this universal diversity for the narrative reason established in the previous paragraph, but I wouldn’t have cause to call it out as utter nonsense. Yarros herself chose to shine a spotlight on this problem.

Bookstore Design

This point should be a nitpick. However, since Yarros is using this series to validate her own intelligence, it’s worth highlighting when and how these efforts backfire.

The bookstore that Violet and her squad go do is introduced thusly:

The scents of dust and parchment fill the thick air as soon as our boots hit the hardwood floor, and I immediately understand why there isn’t another shop on the side. Windows stretch from floor to ceiling, allowing natural light to pour in over the rows of bookshelves taller than I can possibly reach that jut out lengthwise from the wall on my right, matching their three-foot-long counterparts on our left, leaving a lengthy, clear aisle to a single counter. The titles are stacked haphazardly, but none touch the backs of the shelves, allowing for air to circulate. It’s beautiful…but hot as hell.

If I’d thought the heat outside the shop was stifling, then the temperature inside—without the breeze—is truly oppressive. Sweat immediately beads beneath my armor and along the side of my neck.

Similar to the ORS back in Fourth Wing, Yarros is showing off some niche knowledge. Placing books on shelves such that they don’t touch the backs of the shelves is indeed important to promote air circulation and preserve the pages.

Do you know what’s bad for the preservation of books?

• Sunlight, especially direct sunlight

• High humidity

• Heat (an issue that would absolutely be aggravated by windows that allow sunlight to “pour” into the building)

• A lack of air circulation in the room. Spacing the books away from the shelves doesn’t mean quite as much if the air is stagnant anyway.

Yarros is trying to show off her knowledge of the preservation of books in the same scene that she praises a store that seems designed to promote the deterioration of books. Since Violet never criticizes the obvious flaws here (despite protecting old books from light being a key point in the Archives heist), we are not meant to notice them either. This means that Yarros either didn’t realize the problem or assumed her audience would not have the intelligence to recognize the problem.

Deverelli: The Hatless Island

It’s really bizarre to me that the first island on this tour is the one where Yarros just gave up on giving its inhabitants any cultural identity.

It’s not that we aren’t told anything about their culture. It’s that we are purely Told about it. It’s all informed characterization and superficial details that, at best, merely flavor scenes that would have played out exactly the same even if these scenes were set in Navarre or Poromish.

Let’s run through these traits in order.

Trait 1: The Deverelli love trade and valuable items

While at Techlis’s place in Chapter 21, he relays the following information.

“The prince cannot arrive in a basket,” Tecarus says, folding his hands in front of him and wrinkling his nose in distaste. “It is unseemly for royalty, and in a culture that values rare items, shrewd trades, and luxury, he’ll never be granted an audience if he is seen as the item being delivered.”

This is a detail that falls flat because of how superficial it is. Maybe this was Yarros’s way of trying to give the Deverelli identity through the luxury goods Violet sees in their market in Chapter 23, but we’ve already done this song and dance with Teclis. Later on, we see that the King of Deverelli talks a lot about trade, but not in a convincing way. It comes across like Yarors had no idea how implement this idea and just defaulted to having the King say commerce-adjacent words over and over again.

Trait 2: The Deverelli value deals.

The scene with Teclis ends thusly.

“Excellent.” Tecarus nods. “A word to the wise…” He glances between us. “I may collect rarities, but King Courtlyn absconds with them. Do not wander off from each other, do not advertise what a rare jewel you are, and at all costs—do not make a deal you cannot keep.”

This seems to have been introduced primarily to generate tension by making it seem like Violet is once again in danger of being seized for her great power. It’s also used as a means to make Halden look irresponsible and incompetent for trying to steal back treasure from the King. Neither of these functions execute successfully.

• Neither Violet nor any other rider are seized for their power.

• Halden’s effort to rob the King would have provoked him regardless of whether it was seen as violating a past deal. It’s attempted theft during a diplomatic visit. Of course there’d be backlash if he got caught.

Trait 3: The Deverelli are pacifists who don’t carry weapons.

This one is established in a strange order.

First, Violet and the others are riding through the market early in Chapter 23, they observe that they’re the only ones who are armed.

The only blades I see are the ones we carry.

That’s it. No emphasis is put on it; no explanation is given. They just aren’t carrying weapons. That isn’t exactly a surprise. Even in Navarre and Poromiel, places that are actively at war, we have no evidence that civilians carry weapons in their day-to-day lives.

Then, during the bookshop fight, Xaden makes a big deal about how the the assailants are carrying blades, highlighting it as an anomaly. I’ll get into what exactly he says in Prose. Here, I’ll just note that it feels backward. He’s talking as if these assailants are making the Deverelli look like hypocrites, but no principle has actually been established for them to violate, so it feels like he’s making something up so he can pontificate.

This carries onward into the interaction with the king. Such a huge deal is made about how the king is a hypocrite for allowing his guards to carry weapons while not wanting Violet and Xaden to carry weapons while speaking to the king, despite the fact that this makes obvious sense for security purposes.

I have no idea what Yarros’s objective was here. Is this commentary? Is it just a flimsy debate to add to the power fantasy? Both? I’m not even sure what point she would be trying to make. Is it just to make the atheists look bad, or does Yarros want to defend her Second Amendment rights without actually understanding the arguments involved?

Oh, yeah. That brings us to …

Trait 4: The Deverelli are Flat Earth Atheists

During the bookshop scene, we get the following.

“Isn’t [Malek] everyone’s god of death?” Mira leans back against the nearest row of bookshelves.

I shake my head. “Deverelli don’t worship gods.”

“It’s why we’re considered the most neutral of the isles. Perfect for trade.” Narelle shrugs. “What you call gods, we call science. What you call fate, we call coincidence. What you call the divine intervention of love, we call…” She flourishes her hand. “Alchemy. Two substances combined to make something entirely new, not unlike what’s between the two of you.” She glances between Xaden and me and sets her hand on her chest.

We later get a reiteration of the religious neutrality idea from the king.

Given that the other three islands all do Planet of Hats religious worldbuilding, the idea of an atheist island that serves as a neutral ground is not unworkable. It’s just so heinously executed here that it makes Paolini’s atheist manifesto seem like a masterpiece in worldbuilding by comparison. At least Paolini’s elves being devout atheists made sense in light of how they perceived the world.

I could yammer on this point for a really long time, so let’s do the lightning round:

1. Why are they atheists? Why don’t they believe in gods? We learn later that the gods have a tangible influence on the magic system, so “science” says the gods are objectively real in this world (hence why I invoke the Flat Earth Atheist trope, rather than just calling them atheists). If the Deverelli became apostates who acknowledge the gods but refuse to worship them, or if they embrace some ideology that lacks higher powers, that’s fine, but it still needs to be established.

2. How does being atheists make them neutral? How does that in any way make the other islands, who at least worship gods that are all part of the same pantheon, trust them? Why would the other islands need a neutral trading partner? It’s not like any holy wars are established in the background. There’s no reason for the other islands to go out of their way to trade at a port at one end of the island chain instead of trading directly with one another. Plus, this idea assumes that religious people inherently trust atheists more than people from different sects of the same religion (or even different religions with common roots), which is not exactly something universally agreed upon.

3. What science do the Deverelli actually have or practice? We see no “science” at any point on this island, save for technologies that all the people who worship the gods have, too (such as plumbing).

4. The fate thing is a contrast that has nothing to contrast against. It’s the same with “the divine intervention of love”. These ideas have not been explored.

Within the narrative, this is terribly executed. If Deverelli had been the third island visited, and the first two islands established that there’s an ongoing holy war and that fate and “the divine intervention of love” are deeply entrenched ideas on the islands, that could have worked. We could understand the culture of Deverelli through the contrast between them and the islands previously visited. Putting this first instead comes across as very lazy worldbuilding. Plus, it’s not even like any of this matters. It’s not like the riders are turned way because they worship gods (and, given the Deverelli heckle the riders as “fire-bringers” despite potentially generations without contact with dragons, they are clearly capable of the kind of prejudice that might lead them to heckle people for being religious).

Outside of the narrative, I suspect Yarros is trying for sloppy commentary here. This is a paint-by-numbers creed that comes straight from the lips of a university student trying desperately to assert an identity different from her religious parents, not from a character who’s supposed to be 93 years old and well-educated. The disconnect makes it seem like this is information Yarros was desperate to ram in. The thing is, this idea is so horrendously executed that I can’t tell what she’s trying to accomplish with it.

1. I mentioned in the Prelude that maybe Yarros has moved away from her previously advertised faith. This manifesto, coupled with various lines earlier about Violet turning away from worshipping the gods for various spite-driven motivations, could point to her trying to advertise her new worldview before she’s actually had time to properly settle into and understand said worldview.

2. Yarros could be strawmanning atheism. When the King of Deverelli repeats these views, it’s in a scene where he’s meant to come across as a hypocrite and a violent maniac. This portrayal could be shallow because Yarros wants Violet to symbolically triumph over it. She does a similar thing on the second and third islands, but in those cases, she have Violet triumph over specific concepts, not an entire worldview.

The funny thing is, there was a very easy way to make this worldview make sense: make it the perspective of individuals, not representative of the whole culture. Deverelli is supposed to be this thriving port that trades with many cultures, so why not have ideas be exchanged as well as goods? That’s how it happens in the real world. Deverelli could have temples to all the gods while also being a place where atheist scholars gather. If the King and Narelle both happen to be on board with this idea of atheism and personally deem it to be the “neutral” path, that just shows how popular the movement is within Deverelli.

Takeaway

The ideas that Yarros had for the Deverelli could have worked. If she introduced this particular island later, established the necessary context for the contrasts to make sense, or simply put in the effort to Show the things that she Tells us, Deverelli could have had an exciting stop for the rainbow dragon hunt. As it is, I don’t feel like this place is truly any different from the little of Poromiel that we’ve seen.

Contraceptives

During the Variety interview in January, Yarros was asked about whether the contraceptives Violet and Xaden use are still functional outside of Navarre.

Variety Interviewer: Basgiath’s birth-control serum — does that work based on magic, or is it medicinal?

Yarros: Oh my God! It would be medicinal.

Variety Interviewer: So theoretically, it would work in a place without magic, like Deverelli?

Yarros: Yeah, it would work anywhere. I think that it’s really important, especially in relationships, when you’ve stated a certain preference for whether or not you’re on birth control or whatever safety measures you are continuing, that you continue those safety measures, and if not, you would need consent from your partner to continue, or acknowledgement that you’re not using something. I think that’s part of a healthy relationship.

First, I love how Yarros swerves away from talking about her story to distract the audience with platitudes. Nice save, Ms. Yarros. We almost thought about your story for more than a few seconds.

…

Now that I’ve had a few seconds, this is ridiculous.

Why couldn’t the contraceptives be magical and still work on Deverelli? I agree that they shouldn’t, but Yarros has established so many exceptions to this world that is supposedly without magic that it actually doesn’t make sense for a magical serum to stop working here. In fact, given that the anti-venin serum is expected to still work on Xaden, and we have no reason to think that isn’t magical (and, given the nature of venin, it almost certainly has to be magical), a magical contraceptive should also still work here.

Also, if this contraceptive is purely medicinal, that once again begs the question of where the tech level of this setting is supposed to be. I won’t rehash everything I said back in the analysis of sexual content in Fourth Wing. Just understand that saying the contraceptive was magical was the easy way out of all those issues, and now Yarros has closed the door on that solution. (Also, in Chapter 11, the use of arinmint as a medicinal herb shows that herbal medicine is still considered cutting-edge science by the military, which hurts the credibility of their ability to pull off advanced feats of pharmacology.)

Then there is the issue of supply. How, exactly, is Violet still on this substance? We are given no evidence of patches or injections in this setting, which leaves oral ingestion. Last I checked, birth control pills need to be ingested daily, as the substances they deliver to the body (usually hormones) are metabolized or flushed out fairly rapidly. Add to that the fact that this setting’s ingested medication seems to rely entirely on serums and herbal medication, rather than modern pills or tablets that can reliably deliver highly concentrated doses. So are Violet, Xaden, and everyone else on the squad prioritizing recreational sex so highly on this quest to save their homeland from annihilation that they are all packing weeks worth of contraceptives, instead of using that same packing space for medicines or tools that will actually benefit their quest? (If the answer is that this ingested contraceptive lingers in the body for extended periods, thereby meaning they don’t take it with them, we then loop back to the question of the tech level.)

Now, does this impact the narrative overall? Of course not. And I do understand the awkward situation Yarros was put in by being asked such a random question. I reminds me of a reader question Natsuki Takaya got about Fruits Basket, where someone asked how Tohru juggles taking baths while on her period when she’s living with a bunch of men who aren’t her relatives. (In the graphic novel version where this letter appeared, Takya accompanied her response with a doddle of herself wearing a confused expression, with a thought bubble above it that read something to the effect of, “I don’t know if people should worry about this sort of thing while reading manga”.)

However, the fact remains that Yarros chose to answer said question, and she chose to do so in a way with both logistical complications and character implications.

PROSE

That Came Out Wrong

During the flight to Cordyn, we get this.

We fly over swaths of scorched and desiccated land, evading venin with the help of the intel Drake brought. Part of me can’t help but feel like we’re evading the fight, even though I know we’re searching for the way to end it.

I mean … yes, Violet. If you are evading the enemy so that you don't have to fight them, you are indeed evading the fight.

I know what Yarros is trying to say here, but this is unnecessary confusion that could have been prevented with minimal proofreading.

“Cool” Action Scene Dialogue

During the bookstore fight, we get some very dumb lines, particularly from Xaden.

During the fight, a man charges at Violet, and Xaden kicks a chair into the man’s path. This knocks the wind out of the man and diverts his attention to Xaden, who talks to the man to keep his distracted, thereby allowing Violet to throw a knife into the man’s shoulder.

Despite going out of his way to hold onto the man’s attention, Xaden says this:

“I warned you,” Xaden says as the man hits his knees. “Your error was changing your assessment to targeting me as the threat and letting your eyes off her.”

I mean … no, he didn’t. Xaden went out of his way to establish himself as a threat, and the man responded logically.

Oh, and we also this weird line from Xaden about how these assistants have knives, despite nothing previously being established to indicate that the Deverelli have anything against weapons.

“I knew some of you carried blades. There’s no society in the world that doesn’t keep some kind of cutting tool, and eventually…well, we all cut, don’t we?”

There there’s this rebuke he delivers when he pulls Violet's dagger out of the man’s shoulder, despite us being explicitly told that the man doesn't protest the pain as the dagger is removed.

“You really shouldn’t raise a blade if you’re not prepared to receive one.”

I’m having flashbacks to Xaden “teaching” Signet Sparring. These things he says are not intelligent. They’re a desperate effort to assert dominance and seem edgy.

False Cliffhangers: 7

The ending to Chapter 27 is a different breed of false cliffhanger than what we’ve previously covered. Rather than breaking a scene up at an arbitrary point, Yarros takes a chapter break that would have worked perfectly well on its own and terminates the scene before the break prematurely, creating the illusion of mystery by not finishing the conversation happening between Violet and the King of Deverelli.

“You will begin at Unnbriel, will you not? It is the closest main isle, after all.” Courtlyn waits for me to nod, then eyes Andarna’s shell before stepping around the table toward me. “If you are amenable, there is another trade I might be able to broker for you.”

“I’m listening.”

The opening pages of Chapter 28 will immediately explain what he and Violet discussed. Said reveal does not impact the narrative. Yarros could have shown us the end of the discussion and eliminated the need for Violet to explain what happened to her friends. Doing it this way serves no purpose except to jerk the audience around.

THEME

Representation

A Matter of Convenience

I can’t help but wonder if Yarros being diagnosed with POTS was a recent development, as Chapter 21 is the first time the condition noticeably surfaces within the series.

After the long flight to Cordyn, Violet is exhausted, with the implication being that she is far more exhausted than any of her compatriots. This passage, in particular, jumped out at me.

I sway slightly and breathe deeply to beat back the darkening edges of my vision. I need rest and I need it now.

The fact this surfaces in a moment where it won’t hinder the narrative (and, given how it prompts Xaden “outsmarting” Halden, is outright convenient for what Yarros wants to do) is one of those points of evidence that Yarros only wants to do Representation when it benefits her. If Violet is this affected by a prolonged flight with no other stressors, it's illogical that she survived multiple other scenes without these symptoms, such as the headlong dash to Samara that General Aetos ordered between Chapters 9 and 10.

Yarros knows that her handling of her disability is inconsistent, as she tries to gaslight the audience about why she doesn’t fold it into the story. We get this exchange between Tairn and Violet is Chapter 26.

“You live in pain. Do you feel as though you need to alert me every time your knee twinges or your joints slip?” Even his wingbeats change, becoming more staccato. “There have been several moments, even here, when your heartbeat has elevated and you have approached unconsciousness, yet you have not made special note.”

I lean with him as he banks left, following the centuries-old aqueduct. “That’s just everyday life for me. This isn’t normal for you.”

I’m sorry, Ms. Yarros, but no. Selectively toggling Violet’s disability to suit your narrative is not the same thing as treating it as a natural part of the character. This is lazy at best and another attempt to lie to us about what you've written at worst.

Inconvenient Facts

A lot of focus is put on Violet’s disability in this scene. Xaden is outright supporting her with discrete use of his shadows, and we get this passage when Violet realizes how many stairs she needs to climb to reach the quarters that all the other riders will be assigned.

Shit. There’s no way I’ll make it up two more flights of stairs when this one is already killing me. My knee protests every step, and I curse the humidity and keep climbing even though it feels like the ground rocks beneath my boots.

What we have here is a practical demonstration that Violet really can’t cut it as a rider. She is the first one to falter under stresses that her compatriots endure gracefully. That wouldn’t be a problem if this were a bunch of friends of a road trip, but this is a military operation to save everyone in Navarre and Poromiel from annihilation. In this context, needing accommodations to participate is synonymous with being a liability. Someone like Violet should not be on this mission.

Whether Yarros is aware of it or not, she made the same assessment and drew the same conclusion earlier in the same scene.

Embracing the Anti-Theme

As previously mentioned, Halden is on this mission, along with a member of the infantry who serves as his bodyguard. They are not bonded to any magical creature, so they need to be carried in baskets. The dragons refuse to contribute to this, so the gryphons, who already are slowing down the group even without the extra weight, need to do it, thereby slowing the squad down even further.

Tairn has thoughts about this, and Violet agrees with him.

“The gryphons cannot keep up,” Tairn warns me as we descend toward Tecarus’s palace. “Especially when carrying the bulk of two humans.”

“Carrying” is a loose term for the baskets Halden and his guard dangle in, held by.the gryphons’ claws.

“Are you offering to carry one of them?” I ask, fighting off the sleep that has weighted my eyelids for the past three hours. The drastically warmer climate isn’t helping, either.

“I’m suggesting we continue onward with only riders and fliers.” The beats of his wings are slow, almost lazy in deference to the gryphons and Andarna, who unclasped from her harness an hour ago just in case we were spotted and escorted to the palace.

“As much as I would love that, he speaks for Navarre.” I reach for my flask, only to remember I emptied it a couple of hours ago.

“He will not matter when we find the irids. Only Andarna will.”

“Well, as soon as you make contact with them, I’m happy to ditch the prince. Until then, we’re stuck with the humans for clues.”

Yarros, the woman who is vocal in interviews about how people who want to support the disabled and chronically ill should focus on providing accommodations … whose self-insert Mary Sue demands accommodations for herself and inclusion of others for the sake of inclusion … is now using that same self-insert Mary Sue and her scaly dog to argue that people who need accommodations (specifically, people with mobility issues) have no place in this story.

Oh, and she also uses the need for accommodations as an excuse to humiliate this person with a mobility issue.

“I’m…” I pause—we both do—as Halden climbs awkwardly out of the four-foot-tall basket Kira deposited in front of us. “I’m better off than whatever’s happening there.”

The prince curses when his pack catches on the thick weave of the carrier as he exits, the fabric holding him prisoner. Instead of lifting the bag over the barrier, Halden wrenches it free, tearing the strap clean off.

“Clearly it was common sense that attracted you to the heir.” Sarcasm drips from Tairn’s tone.

“I was eighteen and he was handsome. Give me a break.” I wince, noting that Halden doesn’t exactly rush off to help Captain Winshire, the redheaded guard, out of her basket.

In case this wasn't clear enough, when Chapter 29 rolls around, Yarros will have Xaden tell Halden, to his face, that he is “dead weight” and belittle him for needing accommodations for his mobility issue.

Halden’s spine stiffens. “You don’t get to talk to me like that, Riorson.”

“Oh, good. I was wondering when you two would start arguing.” Mira folds her arms in front of her chest.

“Or you’ll what? Get yourself banned from another isle? Sit off the coast on Tecarus’s ship? You’re already dead weight, Your Highness. Are you really going to be a detriment, too?”

…

“Get out of my face,” Halden orders.

“Must kill you that you can’t make me.” A corner of Xaden’s mouth rises. “Why don’t you scurry into your little basket?”

The “detriment” remark refers to Halden’s undiplomatic behavior, so the only thing him being “dead weight” can only refer to his mobility issue from not riding a dragon or gryphon.

This is, bluntly put, ableism. Violet doesn’t intervene or even inwardly condemn it. If anything, she takes Xaden’s side, only warning Xaden to consider his own feelings before getting violent in his bullying of this person with a mobility issue.

“I honestly don’t care if you kill him,” I say to Xaden down the bond, “but you will. Wasn’t that your line when I nearly took off Cat’s head in Aretia?”

“He’s going to get you killed,” Xaden retorts. “This isn’t going to work.”

“I’m not dying on Halden’s account.”

Takeaway

Most of the time when I point out that Violet’s behavior regarding her disability clashes with the practical reality of the story in which she exists, the disconnect itself is the problem. Yarros has gone out of her way to build this setting as one in which no one would accommodate Violet, has insisted the Violet is a “rational woman” chosen for her “intelligence”, and then had Violet consistently act like someone who has only ever known those comforts protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act. It creates a jarring narrative experience. Situations where we are meant to see Violet as a badass heroine getting what she “deserves” just come across as peak entitlement.

This extends to Violet’s insistence on involving the gryphon fliers in things while ignoring the Navarrian riders. She makes a big deal out of Representing people, despite practical reasons and sound logic not to do so, and yet will toss Representation out the window to service her spite. It makes the idea of Representation feel hollow and self-serving.

Chapter 21 takes things to another level. Yarros outright spells out the anti-theme: Representation is bad when it introduces liabilities into a situation. Through her self-insert Mary Sue, she approves of this idea. She then pivots and demonstrates how her self-insert Mary Sue is a liability before providing accommodations. When Chapter 29 rolls around, she’s going to pivot right back and start using a man’s mobility issue as an excuse to belittle and exclude him.

This has so many devastating ripple effects on the story. In the interest of time, I will once more gnaw on an old bone: the presentation of Dain.

Based upon the standard set by how Yarros presents the potential abandonment of Halden, Violet had no place in the Riders Quadrant. She is a liability who drags others down by her mere inclusion. She should have accepted Dain’s judgment and left when he gave her the chance. She is dead weight who should have been cast aside, kept alive only by the effort of others. All Yarros’s blather in interviews about how people like Dain need to learn to accommodate people with disabilities or chronic illnesses means nothing, because if inclusion means someone will be a liability, then we should be “happy to ditch” them. If anything, Dain is heroic for not outright giving up on and discarding Violet in the way she plans to discard Halden.

Originally, I was going to close this section on a sarcastic remake about Yarros’s devotion to Representation, but that really fails to capture how sickeningly self-serving she is in the execution of this theme. She eagerly casts her signaled virtue aside when it allows her to indulge in spite.

Power Above All

When rushing to rescue Halden, Violet has this thought.

I want my fucking power back, and I want it now.

This is unprompted. If I were charitable, I’d assume she was worried about how challenging the rescue would be without magic … but then why wouldn’t she just say that? Why is it the power itself, rather than the utility of her magic, that she misses?

ISLAND OF HATS 2: THIS! IS! UNNBRIEL!

On August 15th, we will explore Chapters 28 through 33, with Violet and her squad visiting an island where whose entire identity is that they are the war-god worshippers.

We'll be covering a lot less ground than we did week, and I should have a lot less to talk about, yet this island, Unnbriel, is going to be oddly important to the climax of the book. It introduces ideas that will play into the rather confusing role of the divine in this story. More importantly, it provides a hint that Yarros does have genuine potential to become a good Fantasy writer … if she’s willing to put in the work. Ideas are brought into the forefront in this chapter that show that, while she may be making things up as she goes along, she’s at least trying to make an effort to make things feel properly planned out. For once, we’ll be able to look at flaws in her writing and see them as opportunities for her growth rather than inditements upon her qualities as a writer.

I hope you’ll join me on this trip to Unnbriel. Please remember to subscribe if you’d like to join the newsletter for weekly updates on the latest posts, and please share this review with others if you enjoyed it. Thank you all for being here, and I hope to see you next time.